Ladies; Are You Really Interested?

I know that you ladies are running into difficulties finding a man these days. Well I don’t know, it’s just what I hear. With this being said the question has been posed if women are just settling for a decent guy or if they are really are interested in him. This is a question that us men are posing to ourselves. We too wonder if it’s the real thing. So ladies here are some questions you can ask yourselves and fellas stop and ask if she is doing these things.

Do you ask him about his day? And when you do are you genuinely interested?

What has been going on with him the last few days? How has it affected him?

What are his philosophies towards life?

What are his thoughts about career? Where does he find happiness? What makes him smile? Does he find importance in art? Does he think about environment?

When was the last time you had a conversation about HIS goals and hopes?

If he could create his dream job, what would it be?

What does he think and how does he feel about things going on in the world today?

Does he have an opinion on the Kardashians? North Korea? The economy?

What is his approach to health?

His favorite workouts? Does he monitor what he puts in his body? Favorite activities?


Now I’m not saying that you have to agree with his answers to all these things, but do you even have a clue of his thoughts on them? If the answer is no to these questions or other important questions, it will be safe for me to surmise that you probably aren’t truly interested in HIM. The true him and not just the fact of him. There is a difference.

What are some questions that I left off the list?



The Sex Won’t Keep You…But Will it Make You Leave?

I am one of the guys who always say that women need to understand that the good sex you may give may not be enough to keep a man. After all that is an age old adage and is outdated. But after further consideration and conversation I now have a new question. If good sex doesn’t make a relationship can bad sex ruin it? It’s a fact that lack of sex can put a serious hurtin’ on a relationship, but what if your partner is bad at certain things or just won’t do certain things? Answer the following questions and let’s see. Remember this is under the premise that all other things are good in the relationship.




Play Action Fake

I’m not a fan of games and fronting when it comes to dating. Not at all. But there is one thing that you can fake and it won’t bother me. We are out on a date and having not just a good but a great time. Things are flowing and the conversation is great. Not a silent moment and laughs are escaping our bodies. The check gets put down right in the middle of a shared laugh. We go to grab our wallet without interrupting my sentence. You want to put the icing on the cake? Go to grab your purse. Yes I said it! FAKE LIKE YOU ARE WILLING TO PAY. It would be even greater if you were offering to pay a portion, but this is a moment when you can front for us. If we believe that you were going to put something on the bill it makes us want the date to continue. It makes us want to go out again.

Now this can get tricky if the guy you are out with sees this and is now expecting you to put in and you have no plan on it. If he doesn’t open his mouth and say something to the effect of “I got this” or “you don’t have to” just simply go in the purse and grab your lip gloss and smoothly go to freshen up the lips. Yes this is game playing and goes against what I believe in when it comes to dating, but I give the pass on this one.

When I’ve been out and this has happened I have more times than not for us to continue the date at another venue. I am thinking “hey she’s not selfish and feeling entitled.” And ladies when a man thinks this he now WANTS TO DO something for a woman. Now this is not a post for a woman to get all “I can pay for my own” and independent. This is just a little hint into dating strategy.

Chasing vs Pursuing

Though the definitions of the two words may be similar if not interchangeable at times their meaning when related to male/female interactions cannot be much more different. I relate pursuing to courting and chasing to be a one sided affair. Usually when something is being CHASED it doesn’t want to be caught. Police chase a thief. A lion chases a gazelle. Hell a lion may even pursue the gazelle, but when it is pursuing and it being much more tactful than when it is in an all out sprint after the gazelle.

When it comes to dating I like this definition of the word pursue: to proceed in accordance with a method, a plan, etc. Another definition is “to carry on, to continue ( a course of action, a train of though an inquiry). The definition of chase includes words like “to capture, as game, hunt and words like to seize and overtake. Do you see the subtle differences? Now that I think of it the differences are too subtle when it comes to women.

Using these definition know this. A man will chase pu$$y and PURSUE a woman he is interested in. So to the ladies who think that they shouldn’t be too available to a man they are dating and desire to be chased, understand that a man just may chase you. He may call you with attempts to ask you out several times. Hoping one day that you will say yes or “be available.” But when the chase is over  two things may happen. One, he will treat you as prey and simply eat you, and two, he will be too tired for anything else. Now a man who has gone in pursuit, a man who had a plan to garner your attention will take pride and appreciate the pursuit and the fact that he now has your attention.lions2


Guys..Stop Lying to Yourselves


Guys these days are always talking about they are trying to find their “Michelle” as in Michelle Obama. Someone classy, intelligent, chic and a supporter. There is nothing wrong with this, but STOP CHASING AFTER ALL THE DAMN BASKETBALL WIVES!! Chasing that big booty in the short dress in the club. Now there is nothing wrong with a big booty. God knows I can appreciate one. But when that is all you are seeking it becomes an issue. The guys who are talking about wanting a Michelle would truly give a glance to Michelle in mid 20’s. Not saying there was anything wrong with Michelle, it’s just that women like her are not on most guy’s radars. So if you’re looking for a woman who will be in that Michelle, Claire Huxtable category change how and who you are dating now. The odds that your basketball wife turns into the epitome of a wife are not in your favor.


This One Line Can Make a Man Run

Last night I was talking to my boy and the conversation of women came up, as usual. I consider my friend to be progressive and on the upward trend, so things he says I often agree with. During the conversation he began to tell me how tired he is of hearing women say how hard it is to find a good guy. Or that right guy. He said he cringes when he hears them say the following line. “I keep meeting the same type of guy.” This line does send a little shockwave through me as well. After laughing and responding with “I know” I asked him what it was about those words that bothered him. The next few minutes of conversation made perfect sense.

He started off with the adage “the only constant is you.” This is true, true indeed. If you keep meeting the same type of guys it means that this is what YOU are attracting. And the type of people you attract says a lot about what you. We also talked about how the woman who keeps meeting the same type of man is doing THE SAME OL THINGS. If you were getting the same sub par results on a test would you not change your study habits? If you are working out on a regular basis and have hit a plateau in the results department what does that mean. You need to change-up the workout routine. Where are you going where you constantly meet the same types? What sort of social atmospheres are you planted in? Do they ever change? Changing up between the same 3 spots does not constitute variety.

We then asked each other why women who keep meeting the same type of men feel that they don’t need to change-up anything. Of course we couldn’t answer the question but it led me to ask him if this type of woman comes off as stubborn to him. “Of course” was his reply. He said this woman gives the off the air that she is not willing to change her actions and can be one who feels that she is always right even when the results state other wise. I must say I have to agree with this point. Why would someone who is getting the same unsatisfying results and refuse to change her actions? After all is that not the definition of insanity? My boy told me that this type of women has him feeling that in a relationship she would be unwilling to compromise in a relationship even if it meant improving the relationship. This type of woman could be the my way or the highway type.

The woman who is meeting the same type of man and refuses to alter an approach also gives off the vibe of someone who does not take personal responsibility for the results in her own life. Not saying it makes her a bad person or an irresponsible one. It just appears that she is one who doesn’t take ownership in what is happening in her own life

We both agreed that it wasn’t just the line that scared us, as we both agree that it can be difficult to meet a quality woman in this city. It was what the follow-up to that line made us fearful. Keep and same type are the trigger words, and then when a woman feels that she needs not to change anything to her approach, the alarms go off. Ladies is this you?

How Can We Show You??

Here at From the Mind of a Man we decided to take a different approach with this post. Usually we are doing all of the talking and hoping you are listening, but this time we will sit back and listen to you. Yup, a chance for the female readers to talk and the men will listen. Ladies, what are THREE ways that a man you just met can show YOU that he is interested? I know everyone is different, but I am going to assume that some similar answers will appear consistently on the lists. For those who are currently in a relationship I pose the same question but change it to your man. I think keeping the interest is important in relationships. So often many relationships go on auto pilot and the two just become used to each other. They may love each other, but the liking of each other has not been focused on.

Gentlemen, SPEAK UP!! What are some ways you will show a lady that she has your interest? How do you show your current lady that she still is “it” for you??

Let’s discuss